Hawthorne fights for marijuana
by Jack something
Summary: The Dean tries to ban marijuana, but Pierce Hawthorne teaches him the error in his ways. But the Natzis disagree with Pierce and now he must save the College.


Greendale was having a very special day. It was the day of the anti drug talk. The school always sponsored such things because Greendale is lawful.

Also, for the talk, there would be a special guest. He is a hero, rich, and great.

The Dean was in the spotlight, right infront of the whole school.

Annie was too far in her thought to listen to him, his words not going through her like a butter knife on steel. She was thinking of Pierce and how he made her feel so good last night.

So were Brita and Shirley, but Annie really loved him.

"Hello Greendale! Today, we are having a special talk because there has been a bad drug around..."

Everyone nodded in understanding.

"Here to tell us about it is none other, then the one and only..."

The drums rolled and the crowd was with anticipation, waiting in silence.

"Pierce Hawthorne!"

Everyone was surprised and stood up and clapped, knowing his wipes that saved them each day.

The muscular man waved at everyone and smiled a handsome smile.

Annie and the others girls were acting crazy, screaming "I love you Pearce Hawthorne!" Jumping and crying because a man so awesome came in.

Pierce Hawthorne had his own mic and was looking at the Dean. Waiting for the audience to quiet down.

"So, Mr. Hawthorne! How are you?"

"I am great," he said "I just came here after I fought a horde of gangsters and terrorist. Just a regular Monday, of coarse."

The crowd clapped again, Shirley was in tears after that.

"That's very good..." Dean said "now, why don't you tell them about the bad drugs."

"Oh yes..." Pierce looked at the crowd, they were waiting for his words "don't do meth, heroin, cocaine, or speed. And don't break the law."

"You forgot weed." Dean said.

Pierce looked at him, anger in his eyes and his fist held

"What?!" He said "weed is not bad, you are bad!"

He punched Dean in the face, making him fall on the wood floor. He looked up at Pierce in anger, his eyes red and his glasses broken.

He could see it now, the Natzi emblem in the midst of his eyes!

"Eck nien!" Some girl screamed "the natzis have invaded America!"

Pierce looked at Natzi Dean in shock, as more Natzis marched in. There guns cocked and loaded.

"Yeah, we have come to destroy weed because it is not a good drug." Said the caped natzi general.

"You are wrong!" Pierce yelled "they make people happy! As do my wipes!"

"Your wipes are Sheisse!" The natzi general said, mockingly.

Pierce was inraged! The Natzis were laughing as everyone watched in peril. How dare the Natzi scum laugh at such glorious things such as Towelettes!

Pierce pulled out his revolver, gold with the the Hawthorne mantle carved on the barrel of the gun.

It said:

If your ever in a mess, use Hawthorne wipes!

"Your going to need those wipes soon!" Pierce shouted as he pulled the trigger.

Blood was spilt over the hard wood floor. The other Natzis pulled the guns out, but pierce pulled on of them over to him, using him as a human shield.

There bullets flew, but the body shield caught each of them.

"Hey fellas." Pierce said.

They looked at him in curiosity.

"Catch!"

He threw the body at them, distracting them as he shot his bullets at them with fast accuracy. Putting bullets in there heads and hearts.

Just then, crashing through the ceiling was a Zeppelin! The Natzi emblem on each side and men with guns pointing them at all.

"If you do not surrender, we will kill you all!" They said.

"You shouldn't use a balloon as a weapon. They pop easily."

He aimed his gun at them and fired, making there Zeppelin fly every out of control.

"Niene! Niene! This is not good!"

They all died.

Greendale cheered, Hawthorne smiling as he wiped the sweat from his forehead with a moist towelette.

Annie ran up to him and hugged him "you saved us all! Thank you, Hawthorne! Will you be the principal of Greendale!"

Just then, the Colorado official came in! He had a medal in one hand and a gold key in the other.

"Hawthorne, we the people of Greendale would like to make you the mayor of this town! And we'd also like to make you an honorary citizen!"

Pierce shook his head, declining all offers.

"There is a world out there, and it needs my fist of justice and these wipes to clean the streets with the criminals."

They all seemed disappointed. But Annie perked up and looked into Pierces eyes, the two locked "How about we go to my place." She said.

Hawthorne smirked and picked her up. He had a big smile on his face as he and her got out of the school.

Pierce and Annie went to her house, where they had made lots of sex.

Annie's cries of pleasure were heard in the town, and all knew it was Hawthorne making sweet Lovings.

The day came, and pierce buttoned his shirt up over his barrel chest of ruggedness. He turned back to see Annie still asleep. She looked like an angel.

He left the house and walked out of the town, following the sunset.


End file.
